Chapter 18: Social Connections - The Great Summer Reunion of 2024’
Memories that last forever!
Caution: long read! I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to all my readers. Your continued support and feedback inspire me to keep creating content. I appreciate every single one of you!
Dost hai to zindagi hai Dost hai to zindagi hai, dost hai to zindagi hai. Jaisa toofan mein kashti doobti nahi, waise dost mushkilon mein bhoolta nahi. Dost hai to zindagi hai. Samundar ka kaam hai lehron ko badhana, Jaise dost ka pyaar badhta hai har saal. Dost hai to zindagi hai. Jaise ped chhaya dete hain, Waise dost pyaar apnate hain. Dost hai to zindagi hai. Jaise sharaab ki boondh badhti har saal, Waise dost ka pyaar barkarar rehta hai. Dost hai to zindagi hai. Jaise pakshi dali par nidar se baithte hain, Waise dost ka kandha hamesha saath rehta hai. Dost hai to zindagi hai. Jaise bahut log aate hain aur jaate hain, Lekin kam log hote hain jo dost ko replace karte hain. Dost hai to zindagi hai. Jaise baarish ki boondein milke samundar banti hain, Waise doston ka pyaar ka bhandar hamesha saath rehta hai. Dost hai to zindagi hai. Hum nikle desh-videsh naukri ki khoj mein, Bin dost ke toh hum to paraye reh gaye. Dost hai to zindagi hai. Yaad aata hai Sant Kabir ka shayari, Doston ka milna kuch shayari se kam nahi. Dost hai to zindagi hai. - Suman Manchireddy
It was Friday. However, this Friday was different as I was excited about a short trip to India for a medical college reunion after 24 years. I was trying to finish seeing patients, and like most physicians, I do documentation to catch the day's work. More documentation is needed for every insurance company, either its prior authorization or the physical therapy certifications, health or insurance or disability forms, etc. They consume most of the evenings during the weekdays. I have talked to my staff and quickly tried to finish the work(9pm..yes!) so that I am not bombarded with heavy documentation after I return. I discussed with staff how to keep the upcoming week's schedule to a minimum. My office manager rolls her eyes every time I take time off and reluctantly agrees.
Next day biggie! Headed to the airport. All was packed, and my wife Radha dropped me at the airport. We had a party for our daughter’s 16th birthday planned after my return. She wanted me to take care of the party planning before the India trip; I had a few phone calls and arranged most of the pre-party planning. Arrived at the airport and headed to the check-in counter. As I was walking towards the counter, I kept hearing a murmur next to the family about how the plane was diverted to Philadelphia airport due to the weather-related issues arising in and around Washington DC. I didn’t mind much and was concentrating on the journey.
After checking in with the baggage, I was given the Air France lounge access. Initially, it was on time, but later, I noted it was 2 hr delay. Oh! I thought I was in the lounge sipping wine and scrolling the phone. As I sat there to watch the outside wind, the sudden darkening of clouds, and possible tornadoes in the region with severe gusts. I thought to myself something was not right. However, the clouds cleared after an hour, and the sky looked blue again with sparse clouds. I felt relief. While waiting in the lounge after 4 hours, I was told that Air France to Paris was canceled(oh!), and the lady in front of me was startled. I noticed that I hadn’t seen much information on the screens of other flights, so I dashed to the gate to see what was happening. There, a sea of people were shouting, one saying, “I need a hotel; I came from a long distance.” Another one said, “How can you just cancel the flight?” I was looking from far away and thought something was wrong as the Paris flight was canceled. It’s infrequent that international departures just get canceled. When asked questions, management did not answer them and kept saying they could not be responsible for anything related to the weather. After around 6 hrs of waiting, I finally noted most of the flights had been canceled that evening.
Disappointed, I returned to my brother’s house, where I was celebrating his birthday that evening. He lives 10 minutes away. The airline staff advised me to keep checking for flying schedules through emails for tomorrow as they didn’t have any information currently. It was a bummer that I had only 9 days, and now it became 8 days of the total trip(Ayyo!).
The next day, the schedule of the flight kept changing; every 2 hours, they sent me an alert that it had been postponed. I was seriously concerned as I would miss my connecting flight if I didn’t go on time. I went to the ticket counter to find out what had happened and why the flight kept moving its departure time. I was given a couple of choices, including canceling the flight and changing the flight to another flight but going after 2 days(which would eat away my off days in India). At this point, I was so mad and perplexed I had to cancel the entire flight journey due to the uncertainty around it. I was disappointed and frustrated with the whole travel to India. At this point, I was tired of going to the airport multiple times and said to myself, possible it’s better to stop my travel plans and concentrate on my daughter's Sweet 16 party.
Monday morning, stocks were tumbling in fears of recession, and the Bank of Japan raised the interest rates and fear of Iran going to war with Israel; everything had a gloomy picture. I went to the office with no patients(I kept thinking I was supposed to be in India and how badly I wanted to go). I visited the airline for a refund for the canceled ticket, and finally, they reluctantly agreed to pay back the amount. As I was going through the patient's paperwork. I have found that Google Travel noted a flight to Hyderabad at one stop, and without hesitation, I went ahead and booked the ticket. This never happened to me before, buying a ticket within 24 hrs of departure, but I did. Again, there were a lot of unknowns with the travel, and I ensured I was insured for the trip(LOL).
On Tuesday afternoon, after being dropped at the airport, I saw the flight was delayed again (urghh!) not by much (ahhh!). Since it was a reputable airline compared to the previous one, I was confident they wouldn’t disappoint me. Finally, boarding started, and I was happy that the plane was flying to Hyderabad. After a 23-hour flight and transit, I arrived in Hyderabad(finally!).
On Thursday morning, I arrived at Hyderabad and headed towards my condo in Hyderabad. The place primarily my dad resides intermittently while spending his time back in India. By the time I reached home, it was early in the morning. My sleep was already disturbed. The funny part of arriving in India early in the morning is that it gives an automatic kick and is joyous and challenging to sleep with jet lag. It was day #1, and I didn’t want to waste any time, I had to do some local shopping before meeting friends that evening. The trip to Goa was in the early morning the next day when the medical college reunion was being held.
Due to the meeting with friends in the evening, again sleep-deprived. I had to wake up early for the morning flight. We were a bunch of friends from Hyderabad traveling together to Goa. We did MBBS from Adichunchanagiri Institute of Medical Center, Mysore University, started in 1995 with a batch of 203 pupils. It was fun to meet the old friends and travel together to Goa. After brief airtime, we arrived at Mopa Airport, Goa's secondary airport.
Goa…
Goa, the smallest southwestern state of India(the size of Rhode Island), was under a Portuguese colony until the 1960s and was annexed from Portugal. They have ruled for more than 500 years. I recently visited Portugal to see the only responsible for Goa, Vasco Di Gama. His remains are still at the famous Monastery church in Lisbon; however unable to see them due to the Sunday mass. Portuguese people are very religious and laid-back, prioritizing the family structure. They love seafood(sardines) and spend an enormous amount of time eating. This has rubbed on to Goa. Similar lifestyles have emerged in amalgamation with Indians. Goa has beautiful beaches and coasts that many Portuguese have called their home for centuries. Hence, it is one of the best destinations in India for gatherings because of its food, culture, beaches, and ambiance.
Day 1 - Arrival/meeting of friends after 24 years/evening programs :
Arrived at the Zuri beachside resorts and casino by noon as everyone started crawling into the resort, looking at colleagues noted to have changes in the greying and losing some hair or whole (like me) and noticed to grow horizontally, colloquially we call that prosperity(me included). Friends have come from all over the world. Most of the physicians practicing were in India, but a minority of them settled in the UK/US/Australia/Middle East. We were all waiting in the lobby before the allocation of the rooms. Soon after, we were advised to meet at the Oyster(conference room) for lunch. The weather was sultry and humid and hot. Lunch was satisfying. We return to the rooms for a brief relaxation before the evening tea. We headed to the beach and had some pictures taken in the water and sunset views. The weather was typically muggy, causing us to sweat profusely(especially me, who was not used to this climate).
We head back to the room for the preparations for the evening performances and DJ. Everyone headed to the oyster room/ conference hall, where the DJ / music and stage were set. Seeing all my classmates look stunning in their attire was a gorgeous evening. Evening performances started to take place, with introductory photos revealed; as their pictures were displayed, they walked on the stage, showcasing their families. After that, the performances began; some of us did karaoke to stage performances of Urdu Shayari (me) and ended with a spectacular dance by Sunil for the song Tauba Tauba(a Hindi song currently going viral due to its dance moves). It was rousing and fascinating to watch him. He was repeating the same song in the past when we were in college(Ek pal ka jeena! Live in the moment!).
After dinner, the dance floor was opened, and everyone began dancing to the DJ tunes. Initially, there was an unwillingness to be on the dance floor. Slowly but surely, everyone started catching the itch to move, as being on the dance floor was infectious. The night ended with great music, food, and drinks. As the DJ was winding up, we gathered in small groups, like in college dorms, to hit the after-party in the rooms.
This felt like college, another bottle to be opened and another round of drinks and banter with friends and reminiscing younger days of AIMS 95, discussing friends and where they are. There is nothing more pleasure one can obtain than the presence of freeing up in the room and just keep going. Some were playing cards, some were playing other games, and some listening to the college day music. The bottom line was just having fun. Most of us stayed awake until 4 am before hitting the bed. It was like “Iss rath ki subah nahi.”(This evening, never sees the morning).
Day 2 - Main event/photoshoot/ cultural programs/games/beach
As the night was busy with activities well into the morning, Everyone woke up at their own pace for the morning flavorful breakfast. Continental to South India, they had everything. I prefer to eat more protein, likely omelets early in the morning, followed by fruits and maybe a small amount of carbohydrates. After breakfast, we returned to the room for some rest, and it was time for a group photo shoot. Initially, we did an indoor photo shoot, followed by an outdoor one. There was attire of white shirts and blue jeans. It looked like a flash of whites(like an ad for Nirma washing powder, a famous TV ad in India in the 80s and 90s) in the middle of the day. Imagine putting more than 70 people to get a photo shoot. It felt like school kids all over again. Then we all molded it into 1995 so the camera could be taken from the top of the balcony. After the photoshoot, we headed back to our rooms; it was already heating up outside; standing in the midday sun, we were all feeling the heat, especially me, balding. I was sweating profusely and needed to take refuge in AC. We head back to lunch in the oyster room.
After lunch, a traditional attire photo shoot was followed by games. I had to skip due to jet lag and not been sleeping for almost 3 days straight. Friends raved about the traditional dress photoshoot and catwalking. Followed by various games and activities, giving an engaging experience. Everyone has grown 25 years, but it felt like we were all in college as the camaraderie was palpable everywhere in the resort. Later that evening, everyone headed to the beach, a few blocks away from the resort, for sunset, which was absolutely gorgeous. Playing soccer and taking pictures takes us back to our college days.
The evening program started slowly, with only a DJ on the dance floor but no organized program. So people slowly stepped onto the stage for dance, grabbing appetizers and drinks. As the evening with the DJ started, 90’s songs took us right back to the college, and slowly, everyone moved to the center stage and started moving their hips and hands. Initially, few were dancing(special shout out to Anu! dancing queen of AIMS 95) their hearts out, which was so infectious that in a brief time, people never danced, took courage to come onto the stage and showed their prowess, and everyone had a gala time. As the night heated up, so did the friends going gaga and crazy; it felt like a Gangnam-style song on steroids. Everyone makes their own moves, with rhythm and dance.
Everyone in the room was connected by imaginary strings to their hearts, and the music was stroking to cause them to dance crazily. I am not sure what it is called, but it seemed an absolute blissful experience.
Other than a few, most are novices to dance, and it was magical to see everyone get on with the beats; it was like doctors gone rogue(haha). They all have danced so much that they let their jiggles(stress) out. It went late into the night. As the DJ winding down, I am not sure everyone can vouch for it. We all danced crazily, but the age caught up, too; there were a few joint aches and pains from all the crazy moves (ayyo!). But ongoing tonic or mal ham, I mean alcohol, doing the dual job, increasing the pleasure and decreasing the pain transiently (pain will come back in the morning …lol)
As the DJ winded down, the after-party in the rooms went wild. It was a fun night again. I wanted to say, “Iss raath ko aise hi rehane do” (Keep the night wild). By the time we wind down, it was almost 4 am. For me, sleep was still an issue due to the jet lag. It was a straight 5th day with minimal sleep, but it did not disturb me from having all the fun. Actually, it worked in my favor to stay awake all the while.
Day 3 - Early departure and saying goodbye!
48 hrs went like a flash; the day has come quickly, possibly some of the best days for most of us. As they say, time flies by when you have a good time. I have noticed that Indian doctors, in comparison to abroad, work way too much due to work hour rules or demands and increased responsibilities at work or home with limited time for pleasure or play. Over the last couple of decades, the medical profession has evolved significantly. The corporatization of medicine and the substantial increase in the use of technology have been key factors in this transformation worldwide, leading to extreme burnout among physicians. After breakfast, it was time for us to pack and start heading out to the airports to depart from Goa. It was time for goodbyes and hugs until the next. I preponed my flight as I had one more day before heading back to the US to mingle with my cousins and friends for the evening retreat. For me, India means fun; fun means India. I come to India primarily for leisure to meet friends and family. The party ended again at 2 o'clock in the morning; no dance here, though(lol).
Over the last couple of decades, the medical profession has evolved significantly. The corporatization of medicine and the substantial increase in the use of technology have been key factors in this transformation worldwide, leading to extreme burnout among physicians.
I woke early to the sounds of nature (humans mostly), and the noises and other relevant things woke me up; sleeping past 8 am in India is very hard. As the cleaning lady barges in, the cook shows up and starts cooking, and it feels like you are part of the home office on wheels(lol). I shopped for essentials, especially desserts and the items I could get my hands on too quickly; however, just like Bangalore, Hyderabad has also become terrible in navigating traffic; it takes an hour for less than 10 km, Just like any other major metropolis in the world.
Day 4 - Day of return at midnight after saying good bye to friends.
Some of my cousins and friends showed up in the evening before heading to the airport at midnight. Again, the party never stopped; it kept going until I stepped onto the flight.
“Social relationships, or the relative lack thereof, constitute a major risk factor for health—rivaling the effect of well established health risk factors such as cigarette smoking, blood pressure, blood lipids, obesity and physical activity”
—House, Landis, and Umberson; Science 1988
In the meta-analysis above by Holt-Lunstad and colleagues at Brigham Young University, they examined 148 articles published on the effects of human interactions on health outcomes, and they reported that social connections with friends, family, neighbors, or colleagues improve the odds of survival by 50%. For this reason, prescriptions for social connections have been gaining strength. I include social connections in the preventive visit interactions, which are one of my hallmarks for healthy longevity, which I have extensively discussed in Chapters 9&12; I make it a point to discuss social well-being and interactions as this is directly linked with longevity.
Oxytocin is the hormone produced in nerve cell bodies in the hypothalamus and then released into the bloodstream from the posterior pituitary. There is evidence that oxytocin is released with holding hands, hugging, massaging, and sexual intimacy, Researchers have discovered that petting an animal can cause the release of oxytocin and a pleasant feeling results. There is evidence that oxytocin works in concert with other neurotransmitters such as γ-aminobutyric acid (GABA)–inhibitory neurons for anti-anxiety, through serotonin, a neurotransmitter involved in mood regulation, and through dopamine, a neurotransmitter involved with the nucleus accumbens and the reward system creating feelings of pleasure. Oxytocin seems to facilitate a social attunement, activating more for social stimuli (faces) and activating less for nonsocial stimuli (cars). For these reasons, oxytocin is often called the “bonding hormone.”
Sitting on the flight from Frankfurt to Washington(wrote most of the blog), I think about what has happened in the last 5 days. Just recollecting the events that have happened just makes me beam. I am going home with many memories that will last a lifetime. Everyone who attended felt the same. Something like this in humans sets us apart from the rest of the animals; we are social beings, and from time to time, we need to meet and reminisce the memories and kindle the relationships that are part of us as a medical family. When we meet after 24 years of college, it just overflows with emotions.
The reunion was held 29 years from the beginning of college; it was purely a coordination of a few friends(Shashi, Roopa, and many others) who brought us together. It was nostalgic, refreshing, pure love, and new memories strengthened the old bonds. And yes, we crave more(yeh dil maange more). I reached home but already looking forward to the next one. It was fascinating, engaging, exciting, and exhilarating fun the last few days; thanks to each one of you who attended this event and made it a grand success, and special thanks to the organizers for their hard work, dedication, and determination, we would have not been here having a smile at work because we are charged up our batteries(Oxytocin overload!).
All the obstacles I had before the cancellations, 2 flights, delays, and traveling for 5 days were minuscule compared to the fun of meeting friends and reliving my college days. I am immensely proud to be part of this incredible group.
Oh yeah, summer of 2024, It was a year of reckoning and a year to celebrate. It was when a bunch of hooligans occupied space in a town called Goa, Disrupting patient rounds and working towards the self-realization that life is short and you are easily replaceable. Oh yeah, summer of 2024, Physicians, as they are called until the reunion, Turned into a bunch of young, budding rowdies reminiscing about the early days of college. As the endorphins flowed, just looking at old friends was rejuvenating. Oh yeah, summer of 2024, Life goes on, It doesn’t stop for you or me, but it does give ample opportunities to be around friends. Next time someone says reunion, get-together, or just for coffee—take it. Believe me, it’s totally worth it. Oh yeah, summer of 2024, Many have come, and many have gone, working hard. Life is meant to be thoroughly enjoyed. Everyone has responsibilities—some work, some family, some school—but taking time out once in a while is good for oneself, reduces stress (tell me about it), and recharges the batteries. Oh yeah, summer of 2024, We have all come a long way, settled in different parts of the globe, shining in whatever fields we’ve chosen. I have nothing but the utmost respect for each of your accomplishments and accolades. Let’s not waste any more time—reflect on our recent reunion and plan for the future with even greater enthusiasm. Oh yeah, summer of 2024, Looking forward to the summer of 2027. - Suman Manchireddy
Suman Manchireddy MD FACP FHM, Internal Medicine, Leesburg, VA.
Email : Care@ReliantMD.com
Disclaimer: This is purely informational and educational purposes only, seek medical advise prior to starting any testing or treatment regimen. The data presented here is researched extensively and has been condensed for a broader audience.
Martino J, Pegg J, Frates EP. The Connection Prescription: Using the Power of Social Interactions and the Deep Desire for Connectedness to Empower Health and Wellness. Am J Lifestyle Med. 2015 Oct 7;11(6):466-475. doi: 10.1177/1559827615608788. PMID: 30202372; PMCID: PMC6125010.
Brilliant mate🙂, made me relive the whole thing again and made my day. Cheers
They appeal to me because your emotions come through your choice of words; be they of joy, contemplation, or angst. Your heart shows😊